February

 

Still Waiting...

This month, I experienced some personal problems. Have you ever prayed about something for so long that you expect it to be answered right away? I have been praying about something for 8 years, and to this day I still cannot understand why God has been silent. Again, I was frustrated with God and placed so much pressure on myself to "fix" the issue. I was fighting a battle that was out of my control.  ​ I started to ask God, "Is there something wrong with my prayer?", "Can you please show me the bigger picture here?", "Do you have any idea what pain this is causing?"  If you are reading this, you might be thinking... who am I to question the One above. OF COURSE, God knows what he's doing and every emotion that I feel!

I had to remind myself that when Jesus lived on this earth, he had gone through feelings of abandonment, frustration, sadness, etc. However, I could not help but let those thoughts run through my mind. I stopped praying about it consistently as before. I got tired, and I felt like there was no hope.  ​ One day after work, I talked to my mom on the phone. She asked me how I have been feeling. I told her I was tired, that I could not understand why God was allowing such things to happen, and why he hasn't answered my prayer. I even told her I had stopped praying. I told her, "Mom, I give up. I don't know what to pray for anymore, I feel frustrated each time because of how long it has been."  ​ You see, it is our human response to cry out for answers, and I was too busy being frustrated that I forgot how many people in the Bible had to wait FAITHFULLY for the things they prayed for. There was Joseph who waited in prison , Abraham waited for a promise to be fulfilled, Job waited through suffering, The list goes on and on. Each of them had to walk by faith, and not by sight. Here is a truth that I have to remember: God's timing is not my timing.