November
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
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1 THESSALONIANS 5:16-18
Last month, I expressed that I was at a spiritual low. At the beginning of this month, I was yet dealing with another spiritual struggle. I felt like God had gone silent on me. Let me explain. I would wake up, do my normal routine throughout the day, and I would think, "Okay God, are you gonna show me something cool to me today?" or I would think, "God, I NEED you to show me something today." I was craving some type of sign from Him, and when it didn't happen, I got frustrated.
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I had to sit still and dig deep into my heart as to why I desperately wanted God to show me something miraculous. As I thought about it, I had to ask myself, "Am I doing this for selfish reasons? To prove myself to people? To increase excitement to the readers of my blog?" or is it because I truly, genuinely, and passionately want to experience God's presence?
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You see, the human heart is so selfish. After pondering for so long, it became clear that I was desperate for selfish reasons. Looking into my own heart made me realize why it is so important to invite God into my heart on a regular basis and to pray that He searches my heart. There is a Christian quote that I found by an anonymous person- “Listen in silence because if your heart is full of other things you cannot hear the voice of God.”
God may not have shown me a miracle, but I think God wanted me to wait to show me something about myself, that I may not have wanted to see, but it was needed for my own growth. Our heart influences not only our personality, but our choices, feelings, decisions, intentions, motives, and moreover, our lifestyle.
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Proverbs 27:19 “As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects man.”
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Convocation Weekend 11-5-22
On this Sabbath, the Pastor shared 3 points about ministry
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The truest ministry comes at the most unexpected, and inconvenient moments.
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Ministry done above and beyond expectation, has the most profound impact.
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It is often that when we are in the service of God, His providence becomes most manifest...
Here's a video of the girls and I singing :)
Thanksgiving Break
Thanksgiving Break was 1 week. Leticia and I stayed with my family in Oahu. I am so blessed to have a warm and welcoming aunty, uncle, and cousins for letting us stay.
The food was SO good! My aunt is such a great cook.
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I am thankful for the calling that God has given me to go on this mission trip. I am thankful for my family, friends, the new connections I have made here, nature, and so much more that fills my heart with so much love!
I did not expect to become to attached to the children, and the school community around me. The more I think about how one day I have to leave, I get super sad that tears fill my eyes. I am enjoying my time here, and I have made meaningful relationships.
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Early this month, one of our kindergarten pupils left because her dad got a new job. The day that she was leaving, I surprisingly began to cry. I had no idea how much she meant to me, but my emotions showed it. Every morning when she would come to class, the first thing she would do is hug me. A couple of days before she left, she told me, "Now who am I gonna hug when I leave?" When she said that, my heart absolutely dropped. I'm hoping God allows us to meet again in the future.
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The photo is a card I made for her :)
Waiting
and
-spirituality-
This is something I have been thinking about a lot recently. Especially since I feel like i'm in such a "waiting" period of my life. Sometimes, I would wait for God to do something in my life without even praying for it. But, sometimes I would also pray and expect a quick response yet it seemed like it would go unanswered. It would feel like God went "silent" on me. I observed myself a lot this month, and what I realized is that I tend to get scared when God makes me wait too long. I end up getting nervous, and I begin to question everything.
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However, I learned that waiting is important in my spiritual life. Why? Because it shows a reflection of how firm my faith is. If God had handed me everything I asked for this month in an instant, then it would have required little to no faith. I was reminded this month that silence does not mean God had abandoned me. In John 20:29, Jesus says, "blessed are those who have not seen yet have believed." This verse alone lets me know that God is even more with me in the "silence."
Mauna Loa (world's largest and active volcano) erupted on 11-27-22 since 1984. This is a photo of the glow from the volcano. We could see it from our house. Usually, we we can see all the stars at night. It's been weeks since the sky has been clear.
November Bloopers
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Kindergarten boy: Miss Zarate, you sneeze like my cat.
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Me: *walks up to a student coloring* It looks good! Try to color within the lines, okay?
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kindergarten boy: Whaattt! I'm trying my best! I'm only five okay?!​
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Kindergarten boy: Miss Zarate, you still remind me of Moana.
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Me: Is Moana pretty? ​
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Him: No.
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Me: Whaattt?! Am I not pretty?
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Him: *smiling* Yesss you areeee!
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Kindergarten boy: *tries to guess how old I am by counting with his finger from the bottom of my feet until he reaches the top of my head with his eyes closed*
November In Summary
This month, I experienced saying goodbye to one of my pupils who had a great impact on my life, and my faith was tested once again. I was reminded to give thanks in ALL circumstances, and that waiting on God is such a beautiful thing. So with all of these experiences, I am very thankful. I pray that my faith continues to increase and that I trust in God's grace.
