September
"But rise and stand upon your feet, for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a servant and witness to the things in which you have seen me and to those in which I will appear to you."
Acts 26:16
PURPOSE
2 weeks since I left home, I was already feeling nostalgic and was struggling. In my missionary journal, I wrote, "PURPOSE." This word is my focus during this missionary assignment. The tasks assigned to me is teaching some classes and assisting some teachers in their work. I asked myself if I made the right choice. I wondered if doing such work, there really is a PURPOSE for me being in this place. If I do, why haven't I noticed it? Am I just going to teach and assist in school-related activities?
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I began to doubt. I was desperate, frustrated, and disappointed. Teaching music class, art class, and being an assistant teacher made me feel dissatisfied. I compared myself to other missionaries who are serving in third world countries such as their orphanages, clinics, hospitals, and even building their churches. I belittled myself and I didn't understand why I was here. I have pushed aside the dream wherein God showed me Hawaii. I felt God's calling but I just could not find my purpose as a teacher and an assistant in this school. It was difficult for me to figure out my purpose to the point I didn't know what I was doing anymore.
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A few days later, I called some of my closest friends to vent my feelings. They all had good advice:
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"You just started."
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"The journey is part of your purpose."
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and my favorite response, "Maybe your purpose won't be something you can physically see but something you will feel."
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After the phone calls, I sought God's guidance to reveal my purpose.
A Cup and a Window
On September 3, 2022, the pastor of the Hilo SDA Church did a dedication ceremony for all the teachers and student missionaries. Knowing that we all go through struggles and challenges as teachers and assistant teachers, Pastor reminded us that we always need to find the silver lining. That there is always someone praying for us, and a loving God who will always be there for us. Towards the end of the dedication, the Pastor mentioned a few things that caught my attention. He asked us to place our hands in a cupping position, he told us to imagine that the most fertile soil has been placed in our hands. He then continued to say that children make decisions for Jesus even at a young age. He made me realize that I am, and every staff member of the school are important because school leaders hold the most fertile soil in the mission field. The next thing the Pastor asked us to do was to make a square with our fingers as if we are looking through a window. The window represents a window of opportunity in the life of a child. He stated the fact that most baptisms occur between the ages of 9-12, and that the average age is 11. He explained it excellently saying that whatever the kids see or learn, THAT is the window of opportunity wherein a little girl or a little boy is going to make decisions. He then finished by saying school leaders are operating in the most critical window.
Something In The Water
Labor Day, we had the day off from school so my co-missionaries and I went to Hapuna beach and planned to go to Costco after. The beach and Costco are located in Kona which is about a 2 hr drive. Going into the water was the first thing we did when we got into the beach because it was super hot, and then we relaxed on the shore a little bit. When it got too hot for me, I went back into the water and overheard a woman telling other people in the water, "If you see my glasses, could you please let me know?" She seemed to be very worried about losing her sunglasses, maybe it has a special meaning to her OR they're expensive. So, I started to pray that I could find this woman's glasses. I began to look for a while, but couldn't find them. I decided to just get out of the water and go lay down on my towel again. However, it got too hot for me again so I went back into the water. About 3 minutes in the water, I stepped on something and when I looked down, I saw something in the water. Lo and behold it was the woman's glasses! Now, all I had to do was to find her. I got out of the water again and went to look for her, but I could not find her. I decided that I would just put the glasses on my towel hoping to see her later. After putting them down, I went back into the water (I actually felt like a fishing hook because I kept going in and out of the water). As I was floating, I heard a woman's voice saying, "Please please, if you find glasses let me know!" I told her that I found her glasses and she was so happy. I felt her relief and gratefulness. She told me the glasses are expensive because they are prescription sunglasses, and she cannot see well without them. Isn't it amazing how God answers our prayers? Whether it be answered quickly, or in time, our prayers are already answered. My experience finding the glasses reminded me that though there are times when I do feel lost, I am already found by the one who loves me most. And perhaps, this experience was the beginning to finding my PURPOSE.
By The Pool
On the first weekend of September, my co-missionaries and I were invited to a retreat. An anonymous donor paid for our hotel accommodations and fees in a beautiful 5-star resort in Kona, Hawaii. Before we were able to check into our room at the resort, we decided to wait by the pool until our room was ready. We were told by the staff that we could use the pool since we told them we were part of the Women's Retreat Program. We found some seats, and Anna and Angelika placed their clothes on the chairs before they got into the pool. Leticia and I sat on the two other chairs. I had to use the restroom, so Leticia wanted to accompany me. We made sure to put an item and clothes on the 4 chairs so that people will know that someone is sitting there. As soon as we got back from the bathroom, we saw a woman (she seemed to be in her 60's) sitting in our spot, and she had moved our stuff!
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Leticia politely said to her, "Sorry ma'am, but we were sitting here. We had our stuff on the chairs." The woman rudely responded saying, "Nope. No. You did not have a towel. Where are your towels? If you placed towels on your chairs, then you were sitting here." Leticia and I were not expecting that response, so we did not bother to respond back because the lady was for sure not going to move. So, we let her sit there, and I just sat on the seat right next to her. We literally faced to face. The silence between us was so awkward and uncomfortable. Leticia was right next to her as well, but the woman's back was facing her.
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For about 10 minutes there was silence between us. I kept thinking, "Can this woman just please leave? There are other seats open!" After that thought, I decided I should just pray about it. So, I prayed, "God, are you teaching me something here? Please don't make me talk to her. But, if you're trying to teach me a lesson, so be it." About 5 minutes later, her husband, on a walker, with a smile came by saying, "Are you talking to my wife?" Her husband was laughing as he said that, and I was glad he came along to break the silence. His wife responded saying, "They said I stole their seats." Obviously, this woman was still mad because we told her we were sitting there first. Her husband was still standing with his walker, and I asked him "Would you like to sit in my spot? I can move for you." Rudely, the woman said to me, "No, I got this chair for him." (the chair which had our stuff on it first). Even though it was hard for me to continue to be kind, I shrugged off her comment. Her husband then said, "I would like a chair like my wife is sitting on. One that does not lean back."
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I looked where I could find a chair like that and how far it was from the old man. It would be a hassle from his spot to walk where he could as for a chair especially he uses a walker. I did not want him to slip on the pool because the surface was very wet. Although I did not feel like helping, I could sense God tugging my heart wanting me to go ask for a chair for him. So, I did and he was very grateful that I did. We sat together. Just me, the old man, and his wife. I began to have a casual conversation with the man. He was very kind, and I was able to share that I am a student missionary for a year. However, I could tell the woman was still upset. Every now and then she would interrupt our conversation saying, "The staff should have given you towels. The staff should have given you a wristband. They should have given you something to prove that you're allowed to be here." I ignored her comment and continued to talk to her husband. We were both enjoying the conversation. By the end, the man told me, "You are such a kind young lady. You're doing a good job. It was great to meet you." Even though his wife did not say anything, before leaving, I told both of them it was great to meet them, and I hope they enjoy their stay at the resort.
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When I walked away, I thought to myself, "I think I now know what my purpose is. God has been telling me something."
Purpose (continued)
Ever since I was searching for my purpose, there was not a day that went by that I have not heard the word, "love." Every morning, before work, the Principal of the school would say, "It's time to show love." The sermons on Sabbath would talk about love as well as showing more love towards people. At the retreat, the speaker talked about God's love, and the songs too! I thought to myself, "I have never heard the word "love" so much in my life. Why is it now I hear it every day?" Not only that, but I also thought about the glasses I found, and the woman and the man I met at the pool.
How it's going at school...
It has been so much joy to see how the children are growing! Lately, we have been teaching addition, subtraction, new words, and learning how to resolve conflicts among each other so that they will not always depend on the teacher to solve their issues but to talk our their problems with the student they are having a conflict with. I remember my mom telling me and my sister to solve our own issues together when we were growing up but it was not consistent as much as I wish it was. I believe it is an important life skill to have. In the beginning, it was hard for the kids to confront a problem without tattling to the teacher, but now they are starting to understand. Additionally, we are teaching the kids to forgive, be responsible, and apologize. I really appreciate how the school does not only teach academic skills, but also interpersonal relationships.
The hard truth...
I found out that many of the kids do not have complete families or do not come from Christian households. Heartbreaking situations like the parents are in jail, parents are going through a divorce, and lack of attention. I often forget that, nothing is really ever looks like as they seem because we never know what anyone is going through.
September Bloopers
kindergarten boy: "Can I have water? I'm unhydrated."
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kindergarten boy: "Miss Karate! Miss Karate!"
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kindergarten boy: "I don't want to get my mohawk all messed up from playing in the sun."
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kindergarten girl: "When are you gonna have kids?"
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1st grade boy: "Miss Zarate, you look like Moana."
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kindergarten girl: "I like the backstreet boys. My favorite song by them is "As Long As You Love Me"
September Memories
September In Summary
I realized that the purpose why I am here is to love. The incident about the glasses, the woman by the pool, and the children that God entrusted in my hands to teach, they all needed to be shown love. Love is the greatest way to show a Christlike character, and sometimes, that's all someone really needs. My prayer is that I may portray the love of God in this place he has called me to serve Him through His power and grace.
